she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
