nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
