I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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