I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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