so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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