does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
