he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
