It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dicks are not precious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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