duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
