every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize