i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize