I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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