Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
