As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
