weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
