I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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