I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
