I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
