Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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