I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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