brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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