Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
