ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
