i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
