It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He passed out mid-signature
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
