Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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