UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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