conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
