i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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