Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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