Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
