Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
