Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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