He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
