We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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