Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
