I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
