He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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