obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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