I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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