I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
