Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
