I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Randomize