You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
