Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
