Umm I'm too high to move.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
