Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We need to get me chipped asap
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
