I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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