Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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