nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
