You're so nebulous sometimes
She said her name was "party"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
