I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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