Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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