It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
