Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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