Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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