It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
