So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
is that a dick in a sweater?
last night I used snow as a chaser
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
