They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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