fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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