I heard we made out
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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