Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Who died my cat blue again?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
