Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
