Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
