is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
