Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sponge bath it is.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
