i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
