im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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