I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
