Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he wants to bone in the snuggie
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
