I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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