if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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